what if you changed your symbol for money?

a citrus tree, to me, is the richest thing in the world

What does money feel like to you? Not actual dollars in your hand. What feels like money to you — but technically isn’t?

I’ve been taking long, exquisite walks without my phone lately. It is repairing my mind and my relationship to the world. Me and the world need this intimate time alone together. It centers me into my core living experience.

When I am on these walks, if I am lucky, I encounter a citrus tree. Every time I see a tree with oranges, lemons, or limes, I feel blessed by the gods. My eyes want to squeeze together and take a picture. Citrus trees are so beautiful. I can’t get over them. And I’ve begun to realize they feel like nature’s most ultimate form of currency to me. Whenever I see a citrus tree in someones yard, I think, “That is the richest person in the world!”

They are giving in both taste and beauty. Their colors break my heart open. They make me want to sing.

As I was on one of my walks, taking in a particularly glorious citrus tree, I realized — what if I made this my symbol of money and abundance? See, me and money have a peculiar relationship, as I’m sure we all do. I feel strain and a sense of looseness that makes me feel out of control and also completely stressed out when I think about it. When I think about money, I think about how the world tells me how hard it is to get it. How hard you have to work to keep it. And how one must trick people to get more.

But, I want money to feel like flow, like an exchange, like a ripe orange falling from a tree and into my hands.

I love well-made, luxurious items, but I hate the appearance of “luxury”. Hollow designer aesthetics mean nothing to me. I despise the false sense of superiority it generates. It actually alerts me that someone has not decided what real value is to them. They’ve just decided to go along with what the world has decided is “rich”. It lacks imagination and innovation. But, let me not be too hypocritical here, if I was given a Prada bag, obviously I would be stoked about it. But, I hope you know what I’m referencing here. A reliance on these empty symbols of what “richness” is. Why are we placing so much value in these products? Take one walk and look out at the world. Look at the ripeness of a tree. Tell me a bite into a fresh orange isn’t real luxury! Luxury, meaning a complete sensory experience.

Thus, I’ve decided to alter my relationship with money. I’ve decided to change my symbol for it. Money is really a symbol for exchange. And when I see a citrus tree, it feels like the ultimate form of exchange. The flavors of fresh squeezed orange juice feel like the highest form of beauty and value to me. It’s sweet, yet punchy, electrifying, and just glorious!!!!! So, I’ve begun to think — fuck it! Orange juice is money to me!

Because after my walks, feeling winded and wonderful and ready to take on my day, I find myself craving a delicious fresh-squeezed orange juice. So, in an attempt to heal my relationship with money and assert a new idea of what it could be in my life, I’ve begun to fuse my life with more fresh squeezed juice. If I find myself stressing about money, I go find an orange. I buy a bunch of lemons and limes. I squeeze their juice all over my food. I radiate in the sublime taste of my own personal definition of abundance.

I’ve just come to realize more and more that we have to change our definitions of what the world has told us to value. Money doesn’t have to be money, you can make it symbolize whatever else you want it to be. Truly, you can change your definition of anything. You just have to first be honest with how it first makes you feel and then make your adjustments. Make your life align. Make your world feel good. You have this small power. This small power that can lead to infinite changes.

Now when I think of getting a check, I think of hundreds of oranges, squeezing out a perfect elixir. Like pure money in my mind.