Introducing, The Electric Blue: Feelings Hotline
Introducing, The Electric Blue: Feelings Hotline
My favorite conversations are those which deal with the ungraspable, the unspecific, the invisible, the abstract, and the divine. That which dissects the turbulence, perils, and beauty of living a life. Feelings that don’t have a tidy description or a single name. Emotions and triggers that pile onto each other creating what seems to be a huge mess. I love delving into how the world makes us feel.
Sometimes we don’t necessarily need advice when we’re feeling a lot. We need a mirror.
Thus, I would like to introduce you to the Electric Blue: Feelings Hotline. Where you can dump and divulge your greatest, most secret, most painful, or most twisted feelings and I’ll help you sort them out. I’ll peer into your chaos and express what I find. Not quite an advice column, but more of a poetic dive. I’ll listen to what you have to say and I’ll tell you what poetry I see in it. Allowing you a way to zoom out of your life and be able to look at the symbolism of what you’re going through from another’s eyes. Poetry has helped me fill in the gaps where logic has failed me. Maybe it can help you too.
It’ll be like we’re having our own little deep conversation tucked away in the back of a crowded party. Just you and me, huddled on the couch, grappling with the universe.
To submit (even anonymously), click here .
I’ll choose a submission to dive into next week.
Now,
may I present,
our brave first submission:
“i’m looking for clarity within myself as it feels like there’s a stained glass between my thoughts and my reality, who i am and how i am perceived, what i want and what i should do, how i expect to be loved and the love i am able to provide. and everything moves so fast i can barely keep track, leaving me energetically drained and empty. the question of why try keeps taking over as my focus is —whilst pretty — blurred”
hi feeler,
i feel like you are hovering above yourself. maybe locked in your mind, separate and outside of your body.
the thing about clarity is that it sharpens within us. it’s not something we look outside of ourselves to craft or receive. we may hone our clarity using our environment, situations, and people outside of us — but we must be rooted for that clarity to take place. to enter and wash within us. to me, clarity is a confirmation and a result that our being is in focus.
our being meaning our entire being. not just our minds or our eyes, but our hands, our hearts, our souls. the invisible wind that runs through us and provides the movement in our actions.
we need to be in our bodies for that inner clarity to develop. which can feel so dangerous in thought and application, because to live in our bodies, we have to sit in our truth. we have to speak it. and so much of our hovering is caused by our desire to avoid it.
to obtain this elusive clarity, you must engage in a series of ongoing decisions rooted in the present moment. living in your whole, full truth. it is a way you live your life, keeping yourself clean.
ask yourself, are you open and ready to receive your answers?
it is not, how will i think myself into an idea the world wants from me? — it is instead, how do i find the patience and the grace towards myself to not force an idea of who i should be? how do i sit in the truth of who i am right now? not who i am next week, or next month, or even next year. how can i orient myself towards that which fortifies this present self and stregthens my inner sight? how can i root into this vision so that i wholly focus on seeing the world— not over-thinking on how the world sees me?
why are we so often more comfortable making decisions from outside of ourselves? i am so guilty of this as well. i look at it like this. if my room is a cluttered, dirty mess, i will spend most of my time avoiding being in my home. instead opting to spend more time outside to avoid the disarray waiting for me. thus, the mess keeps piling on and more of my decisions become informed by avoiding spending time in my apartment.
so you might be thinking, why don’t you just clean your room, goddamit? well, easier said than done. it’s so hard to confront something that has amounted over a long period of time. the cleaning required becomes more complex the more you postpone it. which then makes you want to push it off more. so the cycle continues.
i believe the same can be applied to being present with ourselves. if we keep avoiding what is stacking and toppling inside of us, the truth that is asking to be released, cleared out, re-arranged, or dusted off — our minds will continue to avoid our inner perception and attempt to re-focus on what appears more appealing outside of ourselves. continuously avoiding, and avoiding, and avoiding what truth that is asking to be felt.
eventually, though, we have to sit in the dirty room. we have to say yes, this room is very dirty, but it is mine. it is something at my own pace i can clean.
it is something i will accept.
i will accept my being in its entirety.
i will flash a light on its shadowed truth.
and because of that, my vision will become less and less blurry, because i am now the one in focus.
i hope this helps guide you a bit dear feeler.