Fruit, the Moon, and an Endless Universe

in short, I believe in you

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I want you to know that you deserve to do it. Whatever it is that just popped into your mind. Even if nobody believes in you or understands what you’re doing. I want you to do it anyway. And I want you to know that I support you.

I think a lot about space, time, and existence. How the mixture fuses into what we call our present reality. How it feels like everyone seems to ignore the blaring unknowingness of it all. We all just keep trudging on. Ignoring our impulses to sit and watch the sky and just wonder. Except on weeks like this one. Where NASA released the clearest & deepest photos of the universe we’ve ever seen and tonight marking the biggest supermoon of the year. It’s these moments, when I can stare at the moon or at a cluster of bright galaxies swirling through the eyes of a telescope, that I remember there must be something more as to why we are here.

Amidst the unknowing, a small knowing lies within us. Have you heard it before? Has yours begun to call to you yet? Mine has and I try to listen to it everyday. Although it gets shrouded by outside voices. Though on nights like tonight, weeks like this one, it becomes easier to listen. Because whatever is up there, I believe is directly connected to what is happeneing inside of me. Inside of us.

I believe if you have a deep urge that funnels inside of you, that it was placed there for a reason. That somewhere within that desire lies a seed that was given. Given particularly for you.

I have a theory.

This came to me as I was spiraling in my kitchen a few months ago, opening and re-opening my refrigerator door for something new to eat — when instead a new thought soared into me. If I have a desire that is rooted inside of me, wasn’t it placed there by something? What if it’s of no accident that I was given this urge? This piece of life that was designed to be regiven, to be shared?

Because why is it that we’re all on this planet at the same time? There must be a reason why we are sharing this chunk of life together! All of us. Orbiting within a minuscule portion of the endless scope of the universe. There must be ways we must hold onto one another. And ways we have to let go. Ways we heal just by giving.

Now, I don’t want you to confuse this feeling with that of subliminal messaging. I’m speaking about the desires from within us that are rooted so deeply they must have come before time itself. This feeling, in its essence, is indescribable. It’s as if it was something you were born knowing. Born knowing you have to do. Find out. Understand. Scavenge. This uknowable urge is the life’s journey and path. You may start to feel a jolt of it. Keep following the thrill.

Perhaps what grows within me from this urge, grows, because it was meant to be given to you. If we share this breath between us, what pulses inside of us, must be offered as well. We each offer ourselves to join the gigantic puzzle.

I stall a lot of my ideas because I don’t understand them. I don’t know what they’re leading to. Which is so rogue, almost too free. I don’t know how to plan out my life because at every moment I am still understanding it. But you can still move while not knowing. We do that everyday just by existing as humans on Earth. I can model myself after the universe at large. As if I am staring at an image of myself through that telescope. Who brought us here? Where are we heading to? Useless — stars are bursting. Galaxies are forming. There is already a beauty here that knows of no limits.

We are all just one giant piece of the universe divvied off into little fragments. I believe, in some way, there is something that is pining for us to reconnect.

When I write, I am both fused into myself and into the ether of everything that has ever existed. Anything previously separate, becomes completely and undividedly whole. I am divinely bolted into my roots and anything else that comes into contact with me. Could this be my piece? My little shred of the universe to give? I think so. So, if I leave my ideas in a dark shell, I am not doing my duty. I must take my plate of fruit to bring to the table. My offering. Not everyone may notice or take a piece — but there might be someone who has been searching for this special fruit. And the fresh scent of me placing it on the table may take its time to waft to them, but in some fated way, it will find them.

And we will fuse together.

So, please share what is inside of you. It is for more than just you. There is a banquet hall in the endless universe waiting for your portion of fruit to be delivered. Give what you have been ready to give. Don’t wait anymore. Don’t worry about not knowing. The answers you’re looking for are hidden within the actions of your first steps, and so on and so forth. Answers will puff and reveal through each wonky tremble. But you will get stronger. And your ideas will unfold and strengthen as you give them the chance to breathe. They are living things, too. Let them also experience life in stages. They will not be born already walking. Allow them to be imperfect and grow sideways. Let them live as you do.

Let your secret share of the universe have a chance at living.

We are missing your fruit.

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