Bravery is required of you every single time

charge your life force like a battery

There’s a lot to talk about. I don’t know if I know how to talk about it yet.

For now, I’ll start with how it never stops being scary to write.

Each time, I think it’ll get easier. I’ll think that I’ve passed some threshold. And in some ways, yes, I have. I can read my writing to a room of strangers. I can press send onto a post. These are things I now know how to do. I do them all the time.

But something is different when your mind acquires new information. When your mind realizes it has a new way it wants to speak. When stories fissure and crack in the walls of your mind. When they want to find a way out. When you don’t quite know how to give them a path.

It doesn’t stop being scary. Every time feels like the first time.

I’ve always thought life and writing were connected. They seem pulled by the same strings. Whoever is playing the strings of my life also plays it through my writing. My fears in writing mimic my fears in life. I’m discovering this now as I’m writing this.

I asked a friend yesterday, “How are you so good at being in love?”.

She is always so brave. She is consistently so vulnerable and strong in her openness. In her desire to connect. I see how it flowers into an array of relationships in her life. As someone who can be so cautious and so in my head, I look to her as a guidepost.

She cackled in my face. “Good?! I’m terrified every time! It’s a horror show…”

“It never gets easier,” she told me.

I looked at her in disbelief. Here, I thought she was some ascended being who had no self-confidence issues in the arena of love. I thought she just dove in head first. I thought she didn’t have to hold that fear. I thought she just ran.

I didn’t realize she also was gestured by that moment of paralyzation. That feeling of forced pause. Where your mind is telling you to do anything but run. To do anything but be open. To just close down and be safe and keep things the way they are. To not risk anything.

“I can handle the feelings.” she said

Yesterday, was a moment of realization. It was very humbling. I have taken away from it that if you do not give people a real vision for a future they will not walk towards it. You have to give people something to walk towards.

Life is based on movement. What will make you move? For you to drop the ball of fear in your hands and make your way forward?

I am tired of being afraid and angry and limited and like everything is going to fail. I just can’t believe in those things.

I’m going to believe in the things I see.

All around me I see visions of futures that are brimming and beautiful and so compelling. Inside every person I meet I witness a new future. A desire that calls to them. Their own secret wish for the universe. Our wishes comprise a mosaic of the world. When I achieve my wish, it rings out, so you can achieve yours too.

I don’t understand this country. I do not even feel a part of it. But, I think of the people around me who embody so much love and so much care and I am so reminded by that harmony that something else can exist and take place. I hone in on that frequency.

That frequency is my reality.

In the microscopic, our lives are buzzing wells of energy. Infinite power sources lies in these invisible, minuscule bonds. Charge your energy source. Find what makes you feel alive. It is imperative for your sight of the future. I want you to be able to see it.

Sometimes I think I’m too optimistic. My brain just can’t handle not believing that something can and will change. My mind searches for what can grow. It wants to forgive people. It wants to find out how we’re all connected.

I just think humans are a lot more similar than we think we are. I think we all want the same things. I’m going to be less afraid in believing that.

Electric Blue is an organization designed for seeing a future. A framework where we are inspired to connect to the living bursts of energy inside of us, that thus connect us to the living bursts of energy comprising the Earth.

This was always my plan. I’m just being more transparent about it. More to come.

I see a future I want to walk towards, and if I keep telling you about it, maybe you will want to walk with me too.